Ok, it's not that bad

Alright, after that rather dejected and depressing last post, it’s only fair that I focus on some of the positive things here. The problem is that when I’m really enjoying myself, or really feeling comfortable and settled in, it’s because I’m busy. I start to feel sad when I’ve got lots of downtime and no way to fill it – so I sit down and write about how frustrating this can be. Even though I’m totally exhausted right now, and would rather just go to bed, I think it’s important that I discuss the proverbial other side of the coin. I owe it to my loyal readership as much as I owe it to myself.

The girls here are absolutely fantastic. They love me, and anytime someone loves you in such a wholesome, giving, enthusiastic fashion, it’s impossible to resist reciprocating. They come by my room all evening long; from the moment I’m done with classes until I kick them out so I can go to bed. They just want to be around me, to ask me questions about my family, my friends, my life, my boyfriend, my interests, what’s different here from home…the questions are never ending. They adore teaching me Ki’chee’, with its impossibly difficult words, and invest an impressive amount of time into trying to coach distinctive clicks, clacks and clucks out of my throat. Not only that, but they’re so encouraging and animated in their endeavors that I’ve yet to get tired of making an effort. So far I’ve only retained a few words, but I’m making slow, sure progress. They assure me that I’m a quick learner, although I have to wonder how much of that is genuine truth and how much of it is encouraging teachers talking.

Meal times can be especially fun, since I frequently turn into the focal point for my entire table as they all contribute to my vocabulary. One of their particularly distinctive characteristics is a flamboyant sort of oral jewelry which seems to be in fashion. Most of the girls, and many adults, too, have several pieces of gold accent on their teeth. Sometimes it’s a whole golden tooth (I inquired; they’re actually just foil covers), other times it’s initials or designs. It’s quite a sight to have a whole table of girls sparkling their metallic joy at you.

Although I thought I was getting tired of the rather, er, consistent meal offerings, I must admit I’m becoming accustomed. Today, I didn’t go down for either lunch or breakfast, choosing instead to munch on some bread and fruit which I already had. By the time it was nearly the dinner hour, I must confess to having though “Mmm…a tortilla would really hit the spot right now.”

Granted, one of my favorite pastimes is preparing elaborate, new, or exotic meals. However, that’s really not always necessary, and there’s something nice about eating simply. Your body really just needs the nutrition, which you’ll surely get from rice and beans.

That kind of highlights one of the big, glaring points of being here. Out of necessity, they strip everything down to the bare essentials. Although that can be viewed as bare and gloomy, it can be alternately considered refreshing. I don’t really need everything extra; I’m just accustomed to luxury.

Perhaps part of the reason it’s easy to see things that way while I’m here is the religious atmosphere of the school. There are Catholic sisters who live just a few doors down from me, and every meal is begun and ended with both an Our Father and a prayer-song asking for the blessing of our food. Although I’ve never been a particularly pious individual, I’ve noticed that I find it quite nice. When people start and close a simple, three-ingredient meal with a prayer thanking God for his abundance, it’s impossible to ignore the fact that this is actually abundance. Here, at La Asuncion, we get three meals a day. At home, many of these girls would never have such plentiful food.

In addition to the dinnertime prayers, all group gatherings and activities include some thanking of God for generosity and blessings. Again, not considering myself to be particularly devout, this is somewhat new to me. Notwithstanding, I’ve found it to be comforting, and reassuring. I miss Ricky and my family and friends terribly. However, when you’re being constantly reminded to think of God’s hand in everything, it’s easier to accept being away from them. Love is love, right? Regardless of where you are, or where they are, or where He is. I can honestly say that I don’t think I would have thought this way had I gone elsewhere, where this influence would have been absent. It’s been, really and truly, a blessing.

I think that the completely nonchalant, unobtrusive nature of this spiritual focus has been helpful, too. Although religious influence is present, its existence is so casual that I don’t feel forced into conforming to strongly devotional attitudes. Instead, it’s just a part of the day, like washing your dishes after each meal (which, by the way, is done by dumping water out of a big trough over your plate, sloshing it around with your hand, and dumping more water. Good thing my lack of a dishwasher for the past two years has instilled me with a loose interpretation of “clean dishes.”).

Yeah, I still have moments where I wonder what the hell I’m doing here. Being whistled at by machisto seventh grade boys when I took off my sweater today (I was wearing a t-shirt. Come on!) is a good example. It’s exhausting trying to control my classes, but I’m hoping that things will improve once they see that I’m not going to take their b.s. Sorry, boys, but I don’t give up on things I’ve set my mind to. You’ll break first, I guarantee it. In the meantime, I’ll just keep getting worn out. That way, it’s easier for me to fall asleep early, which is important considering the stupid early morning wake-up calls!